Our Rough Cut - Shadowed
Rough Cut Feedback: target audience aged 15-17 feedback
Positives:
1) Soundtrack has a good effect on the film
2) Storyline is good and clear
3) The scene where the Antagonist steps out from the shadows had a good effect
4) Light switch noise adds a little something to him turning on the light and the shadow not being there anymore.
Improvements to be made:
1) 0.12: nobody behind door, then Alex appears guarding the door from other side in next shot
2) 0.15: Crew in shot
3) 0.20: Crew in shot
4) The actor in the window appears to fade away; this appeared strange
5) Crew in the window distracts attention/ can't really see the person in the window very well
6) Editing is too slow. If Alex has just run away from somebody, we need to have fast passed editing until the point where he locks the door, then he presumably thinks he is safe. At the moment it is too slow and flowing.
7) SFX needed for actor appearing in window to sign post for direction
8) 0.25: Alex looks directly at the camera (almost waiting for direction)
9) 0.42: POV is confusing and not needed
10) Use different box because the 'Location Recording Kit' is clearly visible.
11) Instead of paper, people normally wrap guns in cloth or towel
12) 0.59: Cut first shot earlier; it takes too long to find the item
13) 1.10: The noise sounds like Alex has fired the gun, maybe make the SFX a crash of glass or something more obvious
14) 1.37: Shot too long, camera passes the coat; maybe cut it out into separate cuts.
15) 1.47: Pan cuts too early; don't see the corridor to see that there isn't anything there
16) Gun SFX needs to be changed to something realistic
17) Titles IDEA = title appears then the shadow slowly fades in behind it. (Link to story line)
18) Continuity Error with Alex's arm
19) Linger on the smirk to create tension
20) The ghost sound sounds like a whale/Jurassic park dinosaur.
Target audience aged 17-25 feedback
Positives:
5) The film is pretty cool
6) Loved the soundtrack; adds good effect.
Improvements to be made:
21) At the hedge scene in the POV you can't see the Protagonist go into the science block and then in the next scene he is already in the corridor with door shut.
Rough Cut Feedback Analysis
1) We are going to reshoot this scene and film Alex go through the door so you can clearly see how the protagonist goes through. - HOWEVER if you look closely you can see Alex's arm before the shot cuts to inside the corridor:
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2, 3 + 5) We were aware of the reflection problem straight from the start and plan to reshoot the scene with either posters on the door to hide the reflection OR start filming when its lighter outside to lesson the chance of a reflection. Also to minimise the chance of a HUGE reflection should there still be a slight faint one; myself and Dan will not be standing right next to the camera.
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reappear wherever in the Protagonist's dream.
6) We are planning on doing some more shooting for the beginning of our film where we have just the protagonist's feet in the shot running. This will allow us to cut and trim it to make the editing process quicker than it is currently. We are also planning on completely changing the start of our film to make the film even better.
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7) We are taking this piece of feedback into consideration and are looking for some sort of SFX that isn't that dramatic but will draw the audience's attention to the actor in the window.
8) We will address this and reshoot or cut out if possible the section where Alex looks at the screen. We are going to replaced the scene with a different camera shot from the floor to avoid both the reflection and the fact Alex looks at the camera.
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10) We are not sure about this change because the idea of the box was to hide the fact the gun is in the box; so basically a disguise. HOWEVER we are taking it into consideration and we may change the box to something scientific.
12) We have deleted a cut of Alex trying to find the gun. Luckily the hands match up and look like the scene was never there - it looks much better now.
13) We are currently in the middle of changing this sound to most likely the sound of a door slamming instead of glass; mainly because we were worried that in most films they tend to show the audience what has been smashed - and in the location we have there isn't anything glass. BUT we may put it in for effect along with a door slam to perhaps give the impression the glass was broke outside the door that was slammed.
14) Here we have attempted to delete bits of the cut to make the improvements, however it didn't seem to work so instead we have decided to speed that section up so that the camera is not behind the coat for too long.
16) We are going to search online for a better gun shot SFX
17) We really like the sound of this idea, we are going to have an attempt at improving out titles.
18, 19, 20) The continuity of Alex's arm we had noticed and are going to reshoot, we have slowed down the scene of the Antagonist smirking and the sound we have only used in a little part of the clip now to add a bit of depth and spookiness to the film and got rid of the sound being on a long section of our film.
12) We have deleted a cut of Alex trying to find the gun. Luckily the hands match up and look like the scene was never there - it looks much better now.
13) We are currently in the middle of changing this sound to most likely the sound of a door slamming instead of glass; mainly because we were worried that in most films they tend to show the audience what has been smashed - and in the location we have there isn't anything glass. BUT we may put it in for effect along with a door slam to perhaps give the impression the glass was broke outside the door that was slammed.
14) Here we have attempted to delete bits of the cut to make the improvements, however it didn't seem to work so instead we have decided to speed that section up so that the camera is not behind the coat for too long.
16) We are going to search online for a better gun shot SFX
17) We really like the sound of this idea, we are going to have an attempt at improving out titles.
18, 19, 20) The continuity of Alex's arm we had noticed and are going to reshoot, we have slowed down the scene of the Antagonist smirking and the sound we have only used in a little part of the clip now to add a bit of depth and spookiness to the film and got rid of the sound being on a long section of our film.
